This took me so much time to learn but

I hope you're not making the same mistake

I have been experimenting with a lot of different things lately and I had no idea what exacly I wanted to write about. Past weeks were busy and my head was all over the place. But when I looked at the photos I took this month and I realized:

I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I often feel overwhelmed when I look at other people’s life or work, especially from my age.

• The amazing places they visit

• the concert halls they fill

• or simply the fact that they have a dog and I don’t.

But this month I was very purposeful with how I spent my time, how much I use social media and I tried to make creative decisions as much as I could.

Self comparison can get to you, but is it entirely a bad thing?

Sometimes I listen to a piece and I’m like, “man, I wish I had their style, I wish I could compose music similar to this”. Or “wow this painting is beautiful, I want to have this style as well”. And I try to use that song or painting as a reference, but I end up with a completely different sound or painting. I know can do 2 things:

1. I tweak it until I find my way back to copying the reference better.

2. I embrace my style and my creative decisions and lean into them.

3. (Or do some kind of mixture of these 2, maybe lean back to the reference more in form and make lots of creative decisions in the execution. You get the point.)

Using references for inspiration is a great way to give yourself structure and a general direction when creating. Comparing my work to something that I define as “better than mine” allows me to find mistakes or areas where I need to improve. But I need to know when it is time to leave the reference behind, which is a hard decision.

Comparison is the thief of joy. - as the saying goes.

As long as what we create reflects us and we’re learning something in the process, we are winning.

As long as you are able to look at something that’s better than what you can do as an inspiration, learn a lesson and draw an objective route to further improvement of self-expression, you benefit from self-comparison.

Yes, a lot of people are having fun now, it’s May, summer is on the corner, we see our friends traveling a lot, eating at fancy places, getting that new puppy (yes, this is personal), but have you done something that gave you fulfilment lately? I’ve made lots of decisions that weren’t big, I didn’t travel to Spain, I didn’t spend a weekend on the beach and I’m not a PhD graduate either, but I had so much fun because of these small things that happened.

So here are the not big things I made that I’m really happy with

“Oh sheet” - acrylic on canvas, 2024, Beatrix Kovács

This is a super weird painting, it actually took me more time than it looks to make it because the paint just never wanted to dry and I couldn’t paint the new layers. I remember one day I woke up feeling really overwhelmed, I had hours of admin work planned for that day and a video editing and I just couldn’t even start. I decided to make those emails wait, I mean, no one’s gonna be mad at me if I don’t reply right away. I spent the entire day wearing pajamas and painting this thing. This is not how I planned it to look, I wanted to make something soft and neat, but I had so much suppressed emotions, it ended up being like this. And I’m so grateful :)

I’m also spending a lot of my free time on my bicycle, it’s not as cool as flying to an exotic country I guess but it is a looot of fun. Cycling in the sun, stopping at the worst looking cafeterias, drinking shitty beer has its beauty for sure. :)

Being outdoors is great and all, but sometimes I’m the happiest when I just have an unbothered day in my little guitar corner. I also just recorded a new piece by Eduardo Díaz which I’ll be publishing soon on my YouTube channel. Stay tuned! Here’s a little sample:

I also think I finished my first composition. I already showed you stuff that I wrote but I never really felt like I completed any of them. Recording coming soon!

I guess what I was trying to say is that the most important thing is to just do what feels right, and try to make everyday life as pleasant as possible. With all it’s small things.

I used to put myself into a little box, saying that I’m a classical guitarist, therefore all I should be doing is practicing classical guitar. But that’s wrong.

The more stuff I’m doing, the richer my inner world gets, and the more ideas I have to express. What I learn in one medium I can use in another. And the piece I wrote, the recording I made or the painting I showed you: they are not masterpieces, by far. But they are exactly what felt right to me when I made them. I could compare them to better works forever, and I could be miserable. Or I can be just happy to be here and create something with my two little hands :)

This was way happier and more positive than my writings are ever, I guess. To break it down for myself, let me remind all of us that my birthday is coming, so be sure to join my B-day livestream this friday on Twitch or on YouTube:

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So yeah, we aspire to be great and play impressive stuff like the people we see online, like that girl Beatrix Guitar, she’s kinda cool, but the truth is, you don’t have to play difficult pieces to feel happy about how you sound. See, when you discover the beauty of sound textures and voicing and melody leading, slower and easier pieces become so much valuable in your eyes. Trust me.

Now the problem is that there are not many options to play easier pieces that sound beautiful. We have Spanish Romance, Lágrima and a few others, but everybody plays them. What if I told you that there are actually a lot more beautiful and accessible pieces which you probably never heard of? I know, crazy! But it’s true! This is exactly why I made my latest video ,to introduce a few new pieces that you can start learning right away :)

Now I know that when I say I decided to paint in my pajamas all day instead of sitting down to work is a privilege. Being an artist makes me spend time on things that I don’t enjoy but necessary to sustain my career, however, having a supporting circle of fans allow me to answer the calling of creativity without great consequences. I am really grateful to have my supporters, and I can only hope that my work brings you happiness and pleasant moments :)

Now get out of here. Do something fun.