I wish I did this sooner...

I had so many misconceptions about what I need to be and do to become a respected musician. I was wrong.

When I was younger, I was living in a quite rigid system. This is just how academic music and art education works: you have rules to live by and the way you follow the rules will determine your place in the system. But is this really true?

The second you join a group and put a label on yourself, you incredibly limit your options. I joined the group of classical guitarists, so I became a classical guitarist, therefore I had to look like one, act like one and play music like one as long as I wanted to be part of the group.

Joining a group can give you a frame of structure, a belief and a belonging, and a direction to live your life by. My possible repertoire was so narrow my whole life, I never really had to think twice about what piece I’m gonna learn next, I only had to follow the traditional classical guitar repertoire.

Throughout my entire life I came across situations where I had a conflict between what I want to do or be and what a serious classical guitarist would do. When I was 11-12, my first teacher started to pressure me into wearing a long skirt for performances. I used to dress like a little boy, so this was a huge conflict of identity for me. But female classical guitarists wear skirts, so I guess I’ll have to do it too. I did this for maybe 6-8 years maybe and it was terrible. But this wasn’t the only example.

Whenever through my entire studies I wanted to dress a bit more casual, to wear comfortable shoes for performances, or something looser and less elegant, I ran into a contradiction. I even remember an event 6-8 years ago where me and some frends were sitting with crossed legs on the floor while waiting for the results of our performance: It was a scholarship competition and we all were really tired, and some of us were sitting on the floor, waiting, at the end of the day. Of course, when the boys do this, there’s nothing wrong with it. But my teacher gave me a lecture about it for sure. I was around 20..?

I always wanted to dye my hair with a fun colour. I’m an artist, I like colours, they are fun and nice. But I never took the courage to do it, only because of one thing: what would they think. No one would take me seriously with pink hair on the stage: no more concerts, competitions, recordings, my professional life would just end. I seriously believed this.

There was this strong concept in my head about how I have to act in order to be accepted by professional musicians, and in order to be respected by the audience. I had to know everything, I had to be flawless, I had to play only a handful type of music (everything else is cheap and dumb). The truth is, no matter how hard I was trying to fit in, I never felt truly accepted. I felt constantly monitored, and I was afraid to make a mistake any moment.

Academy is really good at teaching us how music works, gives us guidelines and frameworks but it also really embraces our inner sheeple. Classical musicians have a lot in common regarding how they act, speak and play. We learn how we’re supposed to. It’s just the way it is.

The Monkey Stepladder Experiment

In the Monkey Stepladder Experiment, monkeys were trained not to climb a ladder for bananas by punishing those who tried. Even when all original monkeys were replaced with new ones unaware of the punishment, the behavior persisted, showing learned behavior without understanding why. This experiment reminds me of so many things I do and have no idea why I’m doing it. Because it’s just the way it is?

The more rules and guidelines we put on our art, the less room we have to unfold our creativity and real artistic voice. Yes, at first some of these rules are desirable. And we want to fit in. I remember the first time I saw Ana Vidovic playing in her long dress and I thought I wanted to be just like her. Acts and looks can inspire us, however, traditions are not supposed to discourage us from experimenting.

Is there a dish you always make the same way? Is there something you can try changing about it?

Have you done your makeup the same way every day for the past 10 years? Would you like to try a different look?

A different haircut?

A new route to work?

Maybe even a different job?

Go for it! Just because you have been doing something in a way for decades, it won’t be the best or the only way.

But back to classical music for a second: we have traditions because over the years we figured out a lot of things that work well. That’s great. But repeating what works won’t lead to any new discovery, right? If Felix Justen, the maker of guitarlift would have accepted the tradition how we sit with the classical guitar for hundreds of years, he would never created a guitar support that allows thousands of people to play pain free (including me)

(guitarlift is a guitarsupport on the back of the instrument)

I finished my studies 3 years ago and ever since I've been learning so much about how I used to live in a bubble. Things weren’t real there. No one was at my concert because of me, my thoughtful Bach performance or the perfectly appropriate black dress I was wearing. They were there because my school organized it and hosted it. In real life, no one cares about any of these as long as your music (or any form of art) resonates with them.

As a final note on this rumbling, here’s a picture of me from Sunday: I painted my hair dark pink. I love it. It’s quite subtle but it’s there. And I don’t feel any less respected, and none of my follower/subscriber/active listener numbers have changed. I wish I did this sooner, it’s only temporary so it’ll last only for a few weeks but I can’t believe how long it took me to try this out!

What makes music good then?

I had Brandon Acker on my podcast Oh sheet! last week we were talking about many of the problems around classical guitar. This conversation turned out to be so good, it already has 22 thousand views on YouTube! Please, if you missed it, check it out. It really is interesting.

You can also find my podcast on all major podcast distributing platforms like Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music etc.

I wish I knew this sooner

As a classical guitarist, I was so heavily focused on the pieces I played, I abandoned many important guitar related skills. Especially theory. See, I know how scales, chords and triads work, and I can analyze a piece of music you put in front of me. But I never learnt to be creative with them. I was able to play the most difficult pieces and I didn’t know how to play Happy Birthday in C. A few years ago I decided I had to change this.

At school I learnt how to play guitar well, and I learnt the rules of music theory, but I wasn’t taught to put these things together: use theory on guitar.

I knew how to build up all the chords but I couldn’t find the best place to play them on my instrument, or how to create a smooth progression without jumping on the fretboard too much. I knew how the circle of 5th works, but I didn’t know how to use it to make something.

I felt so ashamed for so long because I was a really good technician and I understood how to structure a piece musically, but the second I had to play 2 notes from the top of my head I was stunned.

This is why I was extremely happy to see these educational materials Noisy Clan made. I already told you about them, but this is a topic I can’t stress enough. They created charts and sheets to make learning a more fun experience. The material is easy to understand and to use in practice. I told you about the cheat sheet but my personal favourite item is this circle of 5th decoder: it only shows the chords you need to work with. You pick a key on the top and it tells you all the chords that will sound good together, it helps you with the relative minors and everything is just so simple and clear.

Holding these Noisy Clan materials made me feel like I’m not dumb for theory for the first time in my life. I’m not lying.

I think they are great for any musicians among you, but if you have kids or nephews who are just getting interested in music, this is a great gift and I wish I had something like this when I was younger. I’ll leave my affiliate link here in case you want to get some stuff from their shop:

This week I’ll focus on editing a new podcast episode for you. It’s gonna be available on Patreon in a few days for sure. I won’t tell you now who will be my guest, buuuut I’ll leave a sneak peak here for you :) Have a wonderful, creative week!